New people are coming, and we need the space.
But there's no space-
So if you could go ahead and pack your stuff...
and move it down there...
that would be terrific.
OK?
Uh, excuse me...
I believe you have my stapler, please. Hmm.
You've been missing a lot of work lately.
I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob.
Good one.
Oh, that's terrific, Peter.
I'm sure you've-you've heard some of the rumors...
circulating around the hallways...
about how we're going to do a little "housecleaning... "
with some software people.
Well, Bob, I have heard that. You gotta do what you gotta do.
We'll be getting rid of these people.
First, Mr. Samir Naga...
Naga...
Naga-gonna work here anymore, anyway.
And Mr. Mike Bolton. Nobody's gonna miss him.
You're gonna layoff Samir and MichaeI?
Yeah. We're gonna bring in some entry-leveI graduates.
Farm some work out to Singapore, that's the usuaI deaI.
It's standard operating procedure.
Do they know this yet?
No. No, of course not.
We find it's always better to fire people on a Friday.
Studies have statistically shown...
there's less chance of an incident...
if you do it at the end of the week.
Peter, what we'd like to do is put you into position...
to have as many as four people...
working right underneath you.
This is a big promotion, Pete.
So you're going to fire MichaeI and Samir...
and give me more money?
Uh-huh.
Wow!
Hmm. Yeah.
That's it. That's exactly what I need.
Give it to me.
Come on, you little fucker, let's go.
That's what I need. Let's do that.
Let's do exactly that, you little fuck-
- MichaeI. - Hey.
Listen to me.
What are you doing tonight?
MichaeI, there comes a point in a man's life...
and maybe that time for you is now...
when it doesn't hurt to start thinking about the future.
Uh, no offense there, Peter...
but speak for yourself there, sport.
I'm not the one who's been flakin' out at work.
I know you had this religious experience or whatever...
but get your shit together, or you're gonna get canned.
Yeah, and, uh, and I-Listen...
That virus you're always talking about...
the one that could rip off the company...
for a bunch of money.
Yeah, what about it?
Well, how does it work?
It's pretty brilliant.
What it does is every time there's a bank transaction...
where interest is computed- there are thousands a day-
the computer ends up with these fractions of a cent...
which it usually rounds off.
What this does is it takes those little remainders...
and puts it into an account.
- This sounds familiar. - They did it in "Superman III."
Right, uh...
An underrated movie, actually.
There were hackers that did it in the seventies as well.
- So they check for this now. - No, here's the thing.
Initech's so backed up with all the software we're updating...
they'd never notice.
You're right.
Even if they wanted to, they couldn't check all that code.
Thumbs up their asses. Thumbs up their asses.
So, MichaeI, what's to stop you from doing this?
It's not worth the risk. I got a good job.
What if you didn't have a good job?
Cock gobblers!
Samir and I are the best programmers they got.
You haven't been showin' up, and you get to keep your job.
Actually, I'm being promoted.
- What?! - I know, MichaeI.
It's completely unfair.
And I realized something today.
It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing.
It's about all of us together.
I don't know what happened to me at that hypnotherapist.
Maybe it was just shock, and it's wearing off now...
but when I saw that fat man keeI over and die...
MichaeI, we don't have a lot of time on this earth.
We weren't meant to spend it this way.
Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles...
staring at computer screens all day...
filling out useless forms...
and listening to eight different bosses...
drone on about mission statements.
I told those fudgepackers I liked MichaeI Bolton's music.
Ohh. That is not right, MichaeI.
For five years now, you've worked your ass off...
hoping for a promotion, profit sharing, or something.
Five years...
of your mid-twenties now gone.
And you're gonna go in tomorrow...
they're gonna throw you out on the street.
You know why?
So Bill Lumbergh's stock will go up a quarter of a point.
Ugh.
MichaeI, let's make that stock go down...
and let's take enough money out of that place...
so that we never have to sit in a cubicle ever again.
Your software works, right?
Of course it works. That's not the point.
Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't know how to install it.
I don't know the credit union's software well enough. OK?
Yeah. But Samir does.
But that's not much money.
That's the beauty of it.
Each withdrawaI, it's a fraction of a cent, too small to notice.
But you take a few thousand withdrawals a day...
you space it out over a couple of years...
that's a few hundred thousand dollars.
It's like "Superman III."
"Superman III"?
I have to leave now. I have to get my résumé ready.
For another job where they can fire you for no reason?
That's right. If I'm lucky.
I'm tired of being pushed around. Aren't you?
Yes, but I'm not going to do anything illegaI.
IllegaI? Samir, this is America.
Come on. Sit down.
Come on. This isn't Riyadh.
They're not going to saw your hands off here.
The worst they'd do is put you for a couple of months...
into a white-collar, minimum-security resort.
Shit, we should be so lucky. They have conjugaI visits there.
- Really? - Yes.
Shit!
I'm a free man. I haven't had a conjugaI visit in six months.
So what do you think?
This thing is actually pretty faiI-safe, Samir.
Samir?
You came here looking for a land of opportunity.
And this is the knock of that opportunity.
Tomorrow is your last day at Initech.
You have two options-
unemployment or early retirement.
What's it gonna be?
- I have a question. - Yes?
In this conjugaI visits, you can have sex with women?
Yep, you sure can.
OK, I'll do it.
That's what I'm talkin' about when I talk about America!
Can we discuss the plan?
OK, yeah, good, right.
It works like a computer virus.
All we do is load it into the credit union's mainframe.
It'll do the rest.
Get me that disk, and I'll take it from there.
Before we go any further, all right?
We have to swear to God, Allah...
that nobody knows about this but us, all right?
No family members, no girlfriends. Nobody.
- Of course. - Agreed.
Don't worry, man! I won't tell anyone, either.
- What the fuck is that? - Don't worry. He's cooI.
All right. Here's how I see it all going down.
Peter, congratulations. This is one heck of a promotion.
Thank you, Bob.
We'll get some people under you right away.
I got something for your mind
Your body and your souI
I got something for your mind
Your body and your souI
[Bang bang]
Here comes the big-headed naked ass dippin'
Sippin' on Crevassier
Goddamn, I must have the floss today
Now, pimpin' ain't easy
But it's necessary
So I'm chasin' bitches like Tom chases Jerry
I put the pedaI to the floor
In my two-tone Ford Explorer
You know how it's done
Slammin', bumpin'
Make that somethin' jump on the one-ten
She's flyin' in the Blazer
Like no Speed Racer
But I ain't gonna chase her
Like Racer X
But I won't flex
Till it's time to have sex
So when you want to get together?
'Cause you know a nigger like me is down for whatever
[Bang]
That was easy.
Yeah, I guess it was.
What'd you do with the-
Hey, man.
Oh, hey, Drew.
You guys hear about Tom Smykowski?
That he got laid off?
No, man, check it out.
Last week, after he found out he was getting laid off...
he tries to kill himself by running the car in the garage.
Is he dead?
No, man, check it out.
His wife comes home early and catches him.
He tries to play it off like nothing happened.
I was having some trouble with the shifter here.
It's jammed.
I- I couldn't get it into drive.
- I-I-I mean, reverse. - You OK, Tom?
Then as he's lookin' at her...
he decides he wants to live.
Yeah, I think I'm OK.
Right.
Seems to be working now.
See you later, honey.
Love ya.
But as soon as he backs out of his driveway... Bam!
He gets slammed big-time by a drunk driver.
- Is he OK? - Sort of.
Broke both his wrists, legs, a couple of ribs, his back...
but he's getting a huge settlement out of this.
Like seven figures.
He's getting out of the hospitaI tomorrow.
He's throwing a big party this weekend to celebrate.
We're all invited.
I'm thinking I might take that new chick from logistics.
Things go well, I might be showing her my "Oh" face.
Oh, oh, oh...
You know what I'm talking about. Oh.
Yeah. Right.
See you guys there.
Wow, our last day at Initech.
I can't believe they had security escort us out.
It's not like we're going to steaI something.
I stole something.
Oh, yeah. I guess we all did.
No, I stole something else.
What did you steaI?
Call it a going-away present.
Back up in your ass with the resurrection
Is the group harder than an erection
That shows no affection
They want to ban us on CapitoI Hill
'Cause it's die, motherfuckers
Die, motherfuckers
Nothing but the ghetto
Taking drugs, step slow
Kept my head low
And never let go
'Cause if I let go, then I'd be spineless
I'm going insane
My mind, yes, goes out of controI
On some subjects motherfuckers read on
I done the shit that they believe in
I see this motherfucker's nine smokin'
I seen this
I bet you motherfuckers will, too
Because it's die, motherfucker
Die, motherfucker
Die, motherfucker, die, motherfucker
Die, motherfuckers, die, motherfuckers
Die, motherfucker, die, motherfucker
Die, motherfuckers, die, motherfuckers
Die, motherfucker, die, motherfucker
I think it's something in the water
So good to be free again
With unity for men
I walk around town with a frown on my face
The whole world gonna catch a murder case
The murder rate may decrease
If you're caught up in the world while it's dying
I guarantee you'll fry, 'cause I am
On the verge of knocking motherfuckers out
For no reason
Once I get down, there'll be no breathin'
Who's got my keys?
I'm driving.
Everything is gonna be OK.
All right? OK?
It's fun, and it's exciting.
I gotta-I gotta go. All right?
Joanna's coming over.
Don't worry. You're worrying. All right?
Monday morning, we're gonna check the account balance.
Everything will be OK.
Don't miss Tom's barbecue. I'll see you there.
All right? Good night!
[Rapping] Back up in your ass with the resurrection
What were you guys celebrating last night?
Oh, um... I'm not really at liberty to talk about it.
I really can't.
So, when the subroutine compounds the interest...
it uses all these extra decimaI places...
that just get rounded off.
So we simplified the whole thing...
and we round 'em all down and drop the remainder...
into an account that we opened.
So you're stealing?
Uh, no. No, you don't understand.
It's, uh, very complicated. It's, uh...
It's aggregate, so I'm talking about fractions of a penny...
and, uh, over time, they add up to a lot.
Oh, OK. So you're gonna make a lot of money, right?
- Yeah. - Right.
It's not yours?
Uh... well, it becomes ours.
How is that not stealing?
I don't think I'm explaining this very well.
Um, the 7-Eleven, right?
You'd take a penny from the tray.
From the crippled children?
No, that's the jar.
I'm talking about the tray- the pennies for everybody.
Oh, for everybody. OK.
Yeah. Well, those are whole pennies.
I'm just talking about fractions of a penny, OK?
But we do it from a much bigger tray...
and we do it a couple of million times.
So what's wrong with that?
I don't know. It just seems wrong.
It's not wrong.
Initech is wrong.
Initech is an eviI corporation, all right?
Chotchkie's is wrong.
Doesn't it bother you that you have to get up in the morning...
and you have to put on a bunch of pieces of flair?
Yeah, but I'm not about to go in and start...
taking money from the register.
Well, maybe you should.
The Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.
What?
Look, we don't... I'm-
We don't have to talk about this now.
Let's just go to the barbecue, all right?
MichaeI, Samir, how you doin'?
- Hey, Tom. - Hello, Tom.
I'd like you to meet my lawrer Rob Newhouse.
Rob, MichaeI. Samir.
Peter! How are you? I'm glad you could make it.
Tom, hi. This is somebody I'd like you to meet.
- This is, uh, Joanna. - Hi.
Hi. Forgive me for not getting up.
[Laughing]
[Coughing] Ooh, ooh.
Peter, come here a minute. I wanna show you something.
Well... what do you think? It's a prototype.
Huh... that's...
that's exactly as you described it.
Uh, listen, I heard about your-your settlement.
Congratulations.
Well, thanks, Peter.
You know, I'm glad you're here, because I wanted to talk to you.
I know how you get depressed about your job and all, and...
I just wanted you to know that I know how you feeI.
I used to be the same way.
- Really? - Sure.
Maybe I didn't whine as much.
But I bet I hated my job even more than you...
and I'd been doing it for over thirty years.
Wow.
Just remember, if you hang in there long enough...
good things can happen in this world.
I mean, look at me.
Thanks, Tom.
Ah, sure.
[Music playing]
ConjugaI visits? Not that I know of.
Minimum-security prison is no picnic.
I have a client in there right now.
He says the trick is...
kick someone's ass the first day...
or become someone's bitch.
Then everything will be all right.
Why do you ask, anyway?
Oh, no, we just-
It's a...
- Hey, Peter. - Drew.
That's something about old Smykowski, huh?
- Yeah. - Lucky bastard.
Hey, isn't that the girI that works over at Chotchkie's?
Yep.
Who's she here with?
She's with me.
- Really? - Yep.
All right, Peter. Ooh, ooh, right on.
Make sure you wear a rubber, dude.
Why's that, Drew?
Are you kidding me?
She gets around. All right?
She does, does she?
Oh, yeah, like a record.
Like with who?
Oh, let's see, uh...
Hell, Lumbergh fucked her.
Uh, let me see, who else?
Lumbergh?
What if you get caught?
Oh, I just don't know if this was such a good idea.
Maybe it wasn't such a good idea for you to sleep with Lumbergh.
What?
What are you-
Oh, right, Lumbergh.
Aah!
Oh... God... Lumbergh!
Peter, what is wrong with you?
That was, like, two years ago.
What? Did you know him?
Yeah, I know him. I know him.
He's my boss.
He's my unholy, disgusting pig of a boss.
Oh, he's not that disgusting.
He represents all that is soulless and wrong...
and you slept with him.
Hey, that is none of your business, OK?
I didn't ask you who you slept with before we were together.
I don't care.
I didn't think you slept with guys like Lumbergh!
Listen to you.
Who do you think you are?
How dare you judge me?
I mean, what are you? You think you're an angeI?
No, you're just this penny-stealing...
wannabe criminaI man.
Yeah, well, that may be.
But at least I never slept with Lumbergh.
OK, that's... I'm done.
I wanna get out of the car, OK? Stop.
Call me when you grow up.
Wait. That's probably never gonna happen.
So don't call me, OK?
Say hello to Lumbergh for me!
Hell, Lumbergh fucked her.
Lumbergh fucked her.
That is great.
I mean, she was seeing the "Oh" face for sure.
Ohh, ohh, ohh.
Ooh.
If you could just move a little bit to the left.
That's it. Great.
Peter, what's happening?
Um, could you give me those T.P.S. reports ASAP, OK?
Oh!
- Joanna. - Yeah.
We need to talk.
Do you know what this is about?
My, uh, flair?
Yeah.
Or your lack of flair, because, uh...
I'm counting, and I only see fifteen pieces.
Let me ask you a question, Joanna.
What do you think of a person who only does the bare minimum?
Huh, what do I think? Um, you know what, Stan...
if you want me to wear thirty-seven pieces of flair...
like your, uh, pretty boy over there, Brian...
why don't you just make the minimum...
thirty-seven pieces of flair?
Well, I thought I remembered you saying...
that you wanted to express yourself.
Yeah. You know what? Yeah, I do.
I do want to express myself.
And I don't need thirty-seven pieces of flair to do it.
All right? There's my flair. OK?
And this is me expressing myself. OK?
There it is.
I hate this job.
I hate this goddamn job, and I don't need it.
Oh, shit.
- Shit. - Shit.
- Son of a bitch.
- Shit. - This is a fuck.
I- I... Shit.
What happened?
You tell me, MichaeI! It's your software!
Yes, it's your software.
Corporate accounting is sure as hell gonna notice...
three hundred five thousand, three hundred...
twenty-six thirteen, MichaeI!
Oh, shit.
They probably won't know it's gone...
for another three or four days.
MichaeI! You said this thing was gonna take two years.
What happened? You said the thing was supposed to work!
Technically, it did work.
No, it didn't!
It did not work, MichaeI, OK?
OK.
I must have put a decimaI point in the wrong place or something.
I always do that. I always mess up some mundane detaiI.
Oh! Well, this is not a mundane detaiI, MichaeI!
Quit getting pissed at me.
This was all your idea, asshole.
All right. OK.
Let's try not to get pissed off at each other.
Let's calm down, try to figure this thing out together.
We gotta close that account before it gets bigger.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, Mr. Lumbergh
Happy birthday to you
Looks terrific.
Mmm.
Here, Peg, you wanna get everybody started?
Mmm.
Oh, that is terrific.
Just terrific.
Thanks, everybody. I really, really appreciate it.
It's very speciaI.
Now, Milton, don't be greedy.
Let's pass it along and make sure everyone gets a piece.
But last time I didn't receive a piece and I was told-
Just pass.
OK, here. But this...
The cake... There's lots of cake?
The ratio of people to cake is too big.
[Mumbles] I could set the building on fire.
Is there some way to just give the money back?
Hand them a check for the exact amount they're missing?
I- I think they'd figure that out.
Well, we have to do something.
Maybe we could launder the money.
That's a great idea.
OK, how do we do that?
I don't know.
I don't even know what it means. I was hoping you knew.
I think coke dealers do it.
OK, all right. Do we know any coke dealers?
My cousin's a cokehead.
Fuck.
We're in deep shit.
Yes, we are in very, very deep shit.
- Milton. - Yes.
What's happening?
Say, Milton, you know what'd be great?
But... no.
Since you're down here...
it would be really great if you could just sort of...
take care of the cockroach problem we've had in here.
That's really not my job, and I haven't received my paycheck...
For now, why don't you go ahead...
and get yourself a flashlight and a can of pesticide...
and crawI down-
Bill? We need you upstairs right away.
We got a big problem-big.
Some major glitch in accounting, a lot of money missing.
'Scuse me.
[Door closes]
OK... but that's the last straw.
Here we go, here we go.
Uh, launder. "To clean," no. "To wash-"
"To conceaI the source of money...
"as by channeling it through an intermediary. "
"To conceaI... "
That doesn't really help us, MichaeI.
I can't believe what a bunch of nerds we are.
We're looking up money laundering in a dictionary.
Yeah, well, you guys can both eat my ass, OK?
I can't believe Joanna slept with Lumbergh.
That's what I can't believe.
- Yeah. You didn't know that? - Yeah, you didn't know that?
A couple of years ago, before he moved to Atlanta.
You mean Ron Lumbergh, the Initrode guy? The young guy?
Yeah. Who'd you think I meant? Bill?
Her fucking-Her children would have hooves.
Ron's not related to Bill, is he?
[Knock on door]
Who's that?
All right, nobody panic.
Probably just Lawrence.
Good evening, sir. My name is Steve.
I come from a rough area.
I used to be addicted to crack...
but now I'm off and trying to stay clean.
That is why I'm selling magazine subscriptions.
- No, no. - Wait a minute.
You used to be addicted to crack?
Yeah. Um...
Look, I'm very sorry.
I do not know anything about any money laundering.
We're not asking you about money laundering.
All we need is for you to hook us-
If he doesn't know anybody-
No. Wait a minute.
Look, you just give us the name of one drug dealer.
I could talk to him. I have good networking skill.
I lied.
All that stuff I said about being a crackhead...
just helps me sell magazines.
I'm actually an unemployed software engineer.
- You're a software engineer? - Yep.
Things, they must be very rough for you.
Actually, man...
I make more money selling magazine subscriptions...
than I ever did at Initrode.
Heh. At Initrode?
Wait a minute, you're not gonna tell anybody...
about all this stuff we told you.
I mean, we know a lot of the same people. That's...
Actually, um, that all depends.
What am I gonna do with forty subscriptions to "Vibe"?
We never should have done this.
What were we thinking?
You know what I can't figure out?
How is it that all these stupid NeanderthaI Mafia guys...
can be so good at crime...
and smart guys like us can suck so badly at it?
We're new to it, though.
If we had more experience...
No. You know what I think? I think we're screwed.
I think there's enough evidence...
all over that building to link us to this.
Even if we could launder money, I wouldn't want to.
What we've done is bad enough.
We get caught laundering money...
we're not going to white-collar resort prison.
No. We're going to federaI "pound me in the ass" prison.
I don't want to go to any prison.
Why the hell did I do this?
I've never done anything wrong in my whole life.
We weren't thinking clearly...
because you told us we were losing our jobs.
Now look at us, we're worried about going in a prison.
Don't worry about it. I'll think of something.
[Hisses]
I'm going home.
Me, too.
You are a very... bad person, Peter.
[Knocks]
Lawrence, you awake?
Yeah.
You wanna come over?
No, thanks, man.
I don't want you fucking up my life, too.
[Crickets chirping]
In light of the senselessness of these heinous crimes...
that you have committed against Initech...
I hereby sentence you, MichaeI Bolton...
and Samir Naan-Nanadajibad...
to a term of no less than four years...
in a federaI "pound me in the ass" prison.
Peter Gibbons...
you've led a trite and meaningless life...
and you're a very bad person.
[Bang]
Hey.
You're not working at Chotchkie's anymore, huh?
No, no. I got fired.
- What happened? - I flipped off my boss.
Some customers...
Actually, a line cook...
but he just happened to be standing there, so...
I might be going away for a while.
Uh... to jaiI.
You were right about that computer scam.
That was a bad idea.
I'm gonna take the blame for it, I decided.
I'm on my way now to return the money...
and leave the confession under Lumbergh's door.
Joanna, I want to apologize.
I had no right to get pissed off at you about Lumbergh.
Lumbergh is not my problem.
It wasn't even the right Lumbergh.
I don't know why I can't just... go to work and be happy...
like I'm supposed to, like everybody else.
Peter, most people don't like their jobs.
But you go out there and find something that makes you happy.
Yeah. Well...
I may never be happy at my job...
but I think that if I could be with you...
that I could be happy with my life.
I've been a reaI asshole.
But, if you'd give it another shot, I promise-
OK, shut up.
Whoa! Hey, what's going on here?
Get a room, you two! Ha ha!
I hate that guy.
Then Mr. Lumbergh told me to talk to payroll...
and then payroll told me to talk to Mr. Lumbergh.
And I still haven't received my paycheck.
And he took my stapler, and he never brought it back.
And then they moved my desk to storage room "B."
And there was garbage on it, and-
Why don't you go back down and sit at your desk?
Mr. Lumbergh should be here any minute.
- Mr. Lumbergh- - Just go sit at your desk.
OK. But, I-I'm gonna just...
[Mumbling]
I have to take my stapler back...
because I told him it's my stapler.
It's my stapler.
A Swingline, the brand I've been using for a long time.
[Knocks]
Lawrence, you in there?
Whoa. Hey, Peter, man.
Hey.
So, I might be going away for a while.
Yeah, I know, man.
It's a bummer, dude. What can I say?
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, time to go face the music.
You take care of yourself if I don't see you, all right?
You too, man. Take her easy, bud.
All right.
Hey, Peter.
Yeah?
Watch out for your cornhole, bud.
OK, Lawrence.
[Sirens]
Stay clear, now. Stay clear.
Holy shit.
Wait a minute. Let me take a look at that.
You don't want that, Peter, man.
That's toasted, man.
I think I know someone who might want this.
[Honk honk]
Hey, man.
Wanna go to lunch?
Brought mine in a paiI...
plus Joanna's supposed to come by a little later.
How do you like your new job?
Not too bad, not too bad.
How's Penetrode?
Initrode.
They're all right.
It's work.
Yeah, yeah.
Probably get you a job there.
No, thanks. I, uh...
I'm doing good here.
So, uh... we're gonna be OK, right?
Yeah.
I think the fire pretty much took care of everything.
I wonder if the money burn up.
It would be shame.
Yeah.
So you sure you don't want us to get you a job?
That's one thing I'm definitely sure of.
All right, chief.
You guys take care, all right?
All right.
Stay in touch, man.
OK. Will do.
This isn't so bad, huh?
Making bucks, getting exercise, working outside.
Fuckin' "A."
Excuse me. Excuse me, señor.
May I speak to you, please?
I asked for a mai tai, and they brought a piña colada.
And I said no salt, no salt...
for the margarita, but it had salt on it.
Lo siento mucho, señor. Pinche gringo.
I won't be leaving a tip, 'cause I could...
I could shut this whole resort down.
Sir?
I'll take my traveler's checks to a competing resort.
I could write a letter to your board of tourism.
I could have this place condemned.
I could put, I could put strychnine in the guacamole.
There was salt on the glass, big grains of salt.
Give a ride on the old bone roller coaster.
Aaaah!
Yeah
Yo, 6:00 every morning, you're waking up yawnin'
To the sound of your alarm clock alarmin'
About an hour from now
You should be at your place of employment
Which is annoyin' 'cause it's so borin'
You coworkers are talking
Don't come back in a dress, man.
Ha ha ha. You big fag.
You wonder why your workload is so enormous
'Cause your boss just laid off 3/4 of the whole office
People get depressed, they get ulcers
From the stress that the corporate environment causes
Regardless of how you ultimately wanna solve this
Seems to me like you've got one of four choices
You can take a new job offer for more chips
Stick it out a little longer or forfeit
But my advice to anybody-
I'm working at Hooters now, you know...
and it's very cooI.
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
Take this job and shove it
Just shove it, take this job and shove it
Take this job, take this job
take this job and shove it, shove it
Yo, if your boss is a S.O.B.
Tell him to s-h-o-v-e the j-o-b
Put your middle finger up slowly
Put it close enough to his face so he can examine it closely
Say "I ain't working here no more
"Who do you think you are?"
Whip the apron off, throw it on the floor
Run to the door, to the pay phone, make a toll-free call
Tell your stocks what happened and where you are
So they can come and get you in the car later on
And help you search for a new nine-to-five job
If the unemployment line ain't that long
You can take your time filling out W-9 forms
Eventually, you'll get on if you try hard enough
And you get money if you keep punching your time card enough
Maybe you hate it, maybe you love it
But if you hate it, all you gotta do
Is get mad and tell your boss to
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
Take this job, take this job, take this job and shove it
Yo, so mind your patience or like slave gigs
The boss' favorite to get placed in something spacious
While the most hated get placed
In some small cubicle spaces
Or get thrown down in the basement
Get your stapler confiscated, you constantly waitin'
For a paycheck, twelve months pass by
And you still ain't get paid yet
Here's an optimistic motto
If you ever late for today
You can stay early for tomorrow
Most nine-to-fives are hard
'Cause the description of the job
Ain't no picnic in the park
People get hired, drink coffee to stay wired
So they don't get tired, sleep late, and get fired
You came in late, you already ate
Now, you want to take a lunch break?
Yo, bust it, ain't no need to discuss it
Just take this job and shove it right between your buttocks
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
Take this job, take this job
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
A- a-ah a-a-a-a-ah
I ain't working here no more
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
Ay-ya ya-ya-ya, I ain't working here no more
Just shove it
Canibus and the Biz
Ah-aah aah-ah
It's coming from Canibus and the Biz
From, from Canibus and the Bi-i-i-iz